Being a newbie is not easy. It is not for the weak at heart. Over the past nine years of our marriage we have lived at three bases. Well, the first base for me doesn't count because it was where I grew up and I knew everyone! :) It was new to David though. The familiarity of one place is almost a pitfall when you're moving around. You get so cozy in your surroundings, and with the people you know so well it hurts that much more to "lose" that. To hear of them "going on" with their lives as your eyes are swelled with tears for a friend. To be "known" in your town, just to move away to a place where no one knows who you are and you are almost forced to "prove" yourself worthy.
To give a little history, I was raised in a military home. My dad was security forces for 20 years. So this military life stuff is nothing new to me. I was born on Barksdale AFB in Louisiana, then my parents moved to Altus AFB (for 6 months), and then Travis AFB. I was stationed there since I was two and a half. It was home to me. After my dad retired and I met David I was back living on base for a few years. We moved to Columbus AFB in Mississippi, received the warmest welcome, felt loved and accepted by people. We were plugged right into the church we joined and got our hands "dirty" in all the work that needed to be done. There were moments when we had no one to have a holiday meal with, and no one to help when we needed to make ER trips, but for the most part it was a blessing to be stationed there.
We have lived here in Enid/Vance AFB since 2010.It has been very slow going to make connections/friends. We would try one avenue and get shut down because of social status. We would turn to another avenue and everyone there would be so self focused they wouldn't even see the new people trying to come in. Dare I say cliques? Some people just blatantly stated they didn't want new people in their circles. I had a girl tell me after she found out I was military "Oh, we are not wanting to get close to any more military people because we have had too many move away". I didn't know how to handle this honestly. Up to this point I had never encountered a situation like this. I grew very lonely. I started to ponder if something was wrong with me that all of these "groups"/people didn't want to befriend me. Was I too "religious", mean (lol, yeah, no that's not me at all), nice, awkward, or fat? I really tried to think of everything. Just to come to this conclusion; the majority of people I was trying to be friends with were just too busy. They were running their selves ragged and couldn't even see there next move let alone the "new" people standing there longing for a friend. They were so absorbed in their groups that they weren't ready to welcome others.
I reassessed, I made a blueprint for my new game plan. My joy was not going to be measured in how much others wanted or didn't want to be a round me. I was not going to give away another tear to people ignoring me, when they were not even the wiser about it. I was going to have my own plan, everyday, and learn how to enjoy alone time. For those of you who know me well, know I am not exactly an alone time type of gal! I am a social butterfly to the fullest! This new plan was to commence in December, because that was when I was fed up. Everyday in December I had two, three, even four things on the calender. If there was something going on in the state of Oklahoma it was on my radar!! I was bound and determined to meet a friend that I could laugh with, cry with, and giggle about our kids with! I was going to stop focusing on my next friend and start focusing on the other lonely, abandoned, scared human in the town where I was placed. When I took the focus off myself and onto others and their hurts it gave be a better perspective on life in general.
Very slowly I started to make connections here and there. Some early connections were beginning to come around again. My hands were full of service to others. My heart was aware of the people in need. I was overwhelmed with gratitude to the Lord. I insulted Him with question of my purpose at this base, just to have it revealed to me in His time! He even reminded me of a prayer I prayed while still at Columbus. I met a girl there that turned out to be not nice. My heart was hurt by her, and in that hurt I prayed to the Lord; "Please give me better discernment for all of my friends. Lead me to the right people at our next base"!!
I now have a handful of new amazing people in my life. Some military, some that live in Enid, and some from the city. I count my blessing with this comradery but remain aware of where I am placing my joy. I don't ever want it to be in the hands of others, but rather be in the hands of my loving Jesus.
