Mother's Day
    
       Mother's Day to me over my adult life has meant so much. I am so happy on Mother's Day. Overwhelming feelings is also a description of how I feel on Mother's Day. My heart still grieves for women longing to be mothers. My heart is overwhelmed because I was a barren women that God chose to bear fruit in. My heart also still grieves the loss of our attempted adoption of my first born, Levi. My heart aches for those who share in my heartache of a loss of a child. I am overwhelmed that even in my grief God chooses to comfort me. He is busy holding the world together and yet He chooses to comfort ME!!! WOW! 
      Why did God choose to give me a mother that would take care of me and not harm me? Why was I not an orphan in Uganda? Just from this one day God has blessed me a million times over. My heart is overwhelmed for all the women God sent to come and be a mother to me when I was too rebellious to listen to my own mother. My mother (and father) planted the godly seed and those other women helped in the watering process! I am the God follower I am today because of that congregation of women who choose to care for me! WOW.
      My parents both lost their mothers in their younger twenties. For that I grieve the grandmothers I never knew. I had a friend tell me before that she wishes so desperately that her mother could still be alive. Especially now that she was a mother because she had so many questions to ask her. She wanted advice, she wanted her mother's guidance. She told me that she never thought of her mother more then when she became a mom herself. I feel overly blessed to still have my mother to guide me and love me always.
      I love that I was blessed with a loving Mother-in-law that has a heart as big as Texas. A mother-in-law that raised a son to be God fearing. He can now lead our family, and I can be his helper in our goals for our children. A mother-in-law that would give her life for her grand babies!
       For my adoption mommas that grieve their child lovingly placed in a new home. For the child that longs to know their biological mother. For the adopted mother that loves her child more than life itself, who also wishes she had a blood tie to her child. For the kids left abandoned, abused and bruised. For my kids that I have had a hand in raising in church. I pray for them, think of them, and love to watch  them grow up to be godly adults.
        I love that my mom did crafts with my siblings and I. I love that my mom taught me to sit still in church (Silly I know)! I love that my mom taught me to respect my elders. I love that my mom was not perfect. I love that my mom taught me love not hate. I love that my mom didn't teach me to be racist. I love that my mom taught me about Christ!
      Motherhood in the 21st century is overwhelming with all the competitive mothering out there, how do you keep up. Kids know algebra by the time they are in kindergarten just about. Kids are fluent in three languages by first grade. How does one know when they've done too much. . . .or. . . too little?! What happened to allowing kids to be kids? A new type of child predator is out in the world, how do we keep them safe? Technology, how do you teach a child they don't have to have a cell phone? I want to succeed, and I want my kids to know I did my best! In the end though I pray I can share eternity with my children and family!